Lessons in Patience May 14, 2008

BF and I went to look at the aforementioned apartment last night. It was in a great location for us, as well as being fairly affordable ($1195, including all utilities). But, when I really evaluated it, it had some major flaws:

• It wasn’t a “real” condo, as in, it wasn’t front door. It was basically a glorified apartment that someone had purchased, which would mean dealing with all the things about apartments that I dislike – shared washer and dryer, people living above and below you, etc.
• Renting would be going through the individual owner, who seemed a little strange and off kilter – I couldn’t quite figure out why he was continually renting out and moving the way he was
• It was on the smaller side – apprx 800 sqf.  Not unreasonably small, but for the money, I think we could find something a bit bigger.
• It was definitely older, and had some unattractive features – including ugly plaster walls and a sort of gross living room carpet.
• Most of all, he was really looking to have it rented by June 1st.

We talked, and, yes, we could actually pull together the cash to make a June 1st move-in date happen, but the more we talked about it, the more I realized that we didn’t really want to do that. Making the move so quickly will mess up our plans for a mini-vacation at the end of the month, as well as our own personal debt reduction goals. We also wouldn’t have any “extra” money built into the savings plan yet for things like a new couch, and stocking a kitchen, meaning that most likely, I would end up having to charge those things and wait for BF to pay me back half of the money. So, while it may have seemed like a deal, for us it really was not, and I’m glad that we had the patience and foresight to realize that.

Upheaval May 12, 2008

I think today was the first Monday in a long, long while that I was legitimately glad that the weekend was over, and normalcy was returning. It was seriously that bad of a weekend.  I don’t want to get into the specifics (nor are they really that interesting, I promise), but suffice it to say, there was a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings that are only now starting to sort themselves out. Not a lot of fun.

I’ve also been thinking about my lifestyle a lot, and realizing that some of my patterns of behavior are totally unhealthy – physically, for my body, mentally, for my sanity, and financially, for my grander life plans. Its time to make some serious changes, and try a little bit harder to become the person that I want to be.

BF and I pretty regularly check craigslist for apartments that might potentially meet our criteria, for the future move-out plan of September 1st. Today, however, there was a place advertised that we hadn’t seen listed before, in a great location, meeting nearly all the requirements on our list – and at a very reasonable price. The problem is that it is already empty, and the landlord is most likely looking to rent sooner than we will be ready to move. I think we are going to take a look at it anyway, though, and maybe a discussion can be had.

Waiting April 14, 2008

Despite my previous post, I generally am not a very patient person. If I want something, I want it now, and its partly this impulsiveness that has gotten me into such credit card debt to begin with. I’ve never been one for sitting back and saving and waiting, but I’ve realized that all of that needs to change.

One of the things that I love most about BF, and that has really convinced me that we have a future together, is his total openness about money and finances. I knew, even before we started dating, about his massive amount of student loans. He is really good about talking to me about his finances, and sharing what is going on in his world, particularly as it affects our relationship. When we started talking about moving in together back in January, it was because he was thinking about moving in with some friends of his. He did a little preliminary research on the situation, and then came to the conclusion that one of his friends wouldn’t make such a good roommate, and the other friend was pretty close to wanting to live with his girlfriend. It was then that we started to discuss our own living situations, and the future.

We came to the decision that yes, we would move in together, but that it would be a ways off, to give us both time to get some money saved up for the inevitable first/last security, and also to make sure that our relationship was solid. Now, 4+ months later, I am starting to get impatient, in part because I feel like its a done deal, and I just need to wait, and in part because my own living situation has deteriorated rapidly in the last few months. I’m ready to move on, personally and emotionally.

We had a long talk about it Saturday night, and while my impulsiveness makes me want to make a move NOW, his rationality convinced me that we just need to stay the course for a little bit longer, and continue to follow our individual savings plans, and September will come quicker than we think. I can only hope.